


Vampire Assassin Dads

by FanFicReader01



Series: Vampire Dads [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Assassins, Family, Fluff, Found Family, Gay Couple, M/M, Shenanigans, Silly, Slice of Life, Vampire Tropes, Vampires, assassin dads, dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:26:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01
Summary: Hob and Karlus share an apartment together. There’s a few things they got in common.They’re both vampires. And on top of that, they’re both assassins. Once rivals and down-right enemies, now they’re friends and maybe something more.Trying to keep their identity as vampire and assassin a secret is actually easy. However, their ‘peaceful’ life (as far as an assassin’s life can be peaceful) get stirred up when one day, they find a lost little girl on the stairs of their apartment.
Series: Vampire Dads [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598719
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Silly AU about two vampires. From enemies to friends to lovers to dads.  
> Collection of fragments in their new life as parents to a young girl.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Hob and Karlus turned into dads.

I recently got back from a special contract. Despite being calculated as usual, I didn’t go unharmed. Managing to keep it a secret from the outside world, I had managed to get to the apartment building without leaving a trail of blood. As soon as I got the door behind me sturdily locked, I took off the gloves hiding my sore bruises. I cursed as some dried blood and scabs got ripped off by the brusque motion. I went to the bathroom to see how much damage was done. Only the knuckles felt a bit beat up. Maybe I had overdone it. Now that I was in the bathroom, I decided to take a quick shower. As nobody else but Karlus shared this apartment with me, I got undressed already. I’d put clothes on in the bedroom.

The warm water felt refreshing against my cool skin. I saw some blood wash off of me and disappear into the drain. As I was putting some shower gel in my hair, I swore I heard some gunshot. I wasn’t too paranoid, after all this wasn’t the safest neighbourhood. I was basically used to hearing gunshots all around me. Especially with my kind of job. So I treated it as some background noise and continued washing myself. After I dried off, I went to the bedroom and looked at the clock. It was only 11 PM. A whole night was still in front of me. I was wondering what took Karlus so long to go grocery shopping. Was the night shop closed or something? Oh well, I’d already ‘eaten’ during my job. I had just put on my pants when suddenly there was loud knocking on the door. Suspicious, I put a simple handgun in the back of my pants as I approached the front door.

“Is it you?” I asked.

“Yes! Quick, open the goddamn door!” Alerted, I pulled my gun out and opened the door. The other man ran through it, almost kicking me off my feet. Then I saw he was holding something in his arms. Quickly I realised he was holding _someone_. Behind him, the grocery bags abandoned.

I put the gun back in my pants and quickly assembled the fallen bags and brought them inside. Then I closed the door and locked it tight again.

My partner in crime was in the living room. There was a little girl next to him on the couch. She was staring at the floor. I could hear her little heart beat in fast pace. Then my eyes met Karlus.

“God damnit, put on some fucking shirt,” he hissed. That was unusual for him to say but in this situation I understood. I went back to the bedroom and got fully dressed. What the hell was going on?

_Karlus:_

I could go into the city early. The sun had lowered enough. While most shops were closing, some restaurants were still open and the night shop opened right before my eyes.

I knew the owner. “Come on in!” They said. Once inside, they grinned at me and revealed their sharp fangs. A fellow vampire. I rolled my eyes at them.

“You shouldn’t do that. Maybe someone will see you.”

“Windows shut, door closed. Anyway, I guess the usual for you?”

I nodded as I walked through the four aisles. I dropped some snacks and some beer into my cart. Those things might not quench my actual thirst or fill my stomach, but it’s nice holding onto human stuff, doing human stuff. Not only to lower any suspicion but simply because I also stilled enjoy human food.

“Alright, that will be 20€.”

“You going to do anything interesting tonight?” I wondered.

“Nah, man. Stuck to this place.”

“Nothing planned for the next weekend?” I asked.

“Maybe going to some club,” they replied.

“Neat. I’ll see you around.”

“Bye.”

The walk back to the apartment was easy. The pro of city life is, nobody really pays attention to you. And vampires among each other, have this code going to never expose a fellow vampire. Only assholes do that kind of shit.

There were also a few humans I knew. They didn’t know I was a vampire, though. We only met on the streets and had casual small talk. Nothing special. So I was safe.

Finally I arrived at the apartment block. That’s when I heard a gunshot coming from inside. Not taking dumb risks, despite being basically immortal, I hid myself in the nearest bushes. Three armed men ran outside. I slipped past them and at the back of the building, I entered via a safety door. Then I made my way to the staircase as normal. When I made it to the level below our apartment, I felt a young heartbeat. A little girl was sitting there on the dirty staircase. Her head and hands in her lap. Her body was shocking. I heard her muffled cries. Usually I wasn’t a fan of children at all, let alone _crying_ children but now I really felt bad for her. When she looked up, I saw pale brown eyes. And there was blood on her face as well. Inspecting the kid closer, I saw spatters on her little dress as well. Immediately I connected the gunshot with the little girl.

“W-will you help me?” finally the child spoke up. Her voice trembling.

Slowly I nodded without saying anything. I walked over to her and picked her up.

“Where are you parents?”

“S-still in the room. B-but they’re dead,” the girl replied. Oh god. “Will you keep me safe?”

“The baddies still out there?”

“I-, I think so.”

“Don’t worry, little girl. I’ll keep you safe,” I said before thinking twice. The least Hob and I wanted, was trouble. But I couldn’t just let this kid stay in a hostile environment, could I?

And so I ran the last few stairs with the girls in my arms. She had gone awfully quiet. Once at the door, I put her down for a second to reach for my keys. Shit, forgot them. I left the grocery bags for what they were, put the kid in my arms again and knocked ferociously on the door. Finally Hob opened up and I ran past him and put the girl on our couch. Hob followed soon after me. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and I also noticed the gun in the back of his pants. Fuck.

_Hob:_

Before I could really process the fact that Karlus had brought in a _human_ child, there was knocking on the door. Karlus gave me a panicked look. _I’ll handle it_ , I nodded.

Hypnosis wasn’t my forte back in the early days and not now, but it was worth a try. I opened the front door and put on a fake, confused face. A sturdy gentleman was looking at me. He didn’t hide the fact he was holding a gun in one hand.

“You’ve seen a lil’ girl around somewhere?”

“Wha-? What are you talking about?” I played stupid.

“My god, but you _are_ a dumb blondie,” the man groaned and rolled his eyes. In any other occasion, I’d probably headbutted the idiot but I remained calm. I had to. He tried to push past me. But this time I resisted. I put a firm hand on his shoulder and we made eye contact. That’s when I tried to hypnotise him.

“ _There is no girl here. Go away._ ” With my free hand I made a gesture that made the idiot follow my finger pattern. It worked.

Bedazzled, he stumbled back and muttered something. He gave me a look but then stormed off downstairs. I closed the door and sighed. Close call. Usually Karlus and I didn’t have any visitors. And if we had, they were other inhabitants who weren’t aware of our secret identities at all.

I turned back to the living room and declared Karlus to come on out. He came from the bedroom with the little girl in his arms again. She had passed out it seemed. Poor thing.

My friend laid her on the couch again and then we stood there in silence until I spoke up again.

“And now what?”

“Her parents were murdered, Hob. We can’t just leave her alone in this building, in this city.”

“I know,” I hissed, clenching my fists. “But our reputation! We actually have a low profile. Nobody suspects a thing but this? This will raise questions!”

“Not if we play it smart. You’re smart. Come up with something.”

I’m still baffled and remain quiet for a single minute. Then the other vampire adds: “By the way, I know you were cold blooded in the past and shit, but I didn’t expected you to be _this_ heartless. Not when an innocent kid is involved.”

That earned him a look from me. “I was just thinking practical and rational.” I look at the kid again. Her heartbeat has become normal again. Thank goodness.

I rolled my eyes and then showed Karlus that I still had a heart and moral compass after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adopted

_Hob:_

Karlus and I have done it. We’ve adopted the little girl against all odds. Well, maybe not all odds. Manipulation, hypnosis and deceiving surely helped our case as well.

It’s early in the _actual_ morning. Karlus is preparing Chrissy’s lunch box while I’m having quick breakfast with her.

“Why are the curtains closed?”

“We’re not such fans of light,” I say. I mean, it’s true.

“Okay.”

“Will you be alright? At your new school?” I ask the girl. She gives me a look and I fear she might cry. But she holds herself strong and nods.

“Yeah, I think so.”

After breakfast, I help Chrissy brush her teeth and get dressed. When we’re back in the living room, Karlus stands ready with her little backpack. It’s kind of a cute image.

“Ready to go, big girl?” he smiles.

The kid nods. I drive everybody to school. Luckily it’s a grey morning. No sign of the sun means Karlus and I can actually go outside the car as well. At the school gates, Chrissy wants us to stay with her. Of course, we can’t.

“We have to work, Chrissy. But you can do it,” Karlus says, pushing her away a bit. The little girl runs back and now clamps herself onto my leg.

“I’m sorry, Chrissy. But we really can’t stay with you. You’ll have to do this alone. But you can do it.” Carefully I kneel down so I’m at eye height. “But if something goes wrong, tell the teacher they can call us, alright?” I’d given her a little piece of paper with my phone number on it. I specifically bought a new phone for this new ‘dad character’.

Chrissy gives us a hesitating look before slowly walking toward the other kids. But then she runs back to hug us tightly. Eventually lets go and goes to the other kids and teacher for real. We wave her goodbye.

“We gotta go, _now_ ,” Karlus hisses while I’m still waving at the kid. Only after she’s out of side for a solid minute, I run after my friend and back to the car. My skin is burning. The damn sun peeped out of the clouds after all!

Once we’re inside the car, Karlus pokes my shoulder. I give him a look.

“What was that? Hm?”

“What?”

“Genuine affection to the kid?” the dark vampire chuckles.

I roll my eyes but eventually admit. “Yes. My dad instincts suddenly activated. Didn’t think I had it in me.”

We drive off and back to the apartment. Two damn weeks. Two weeks it took me to get more attached to that kid to let her be taken away from us. At first I was pretty sceptical. Mainly because the extra trouble this could cause us. Especially because this situation happened so unprepared and unexpected. I usually take some proper time before I make a serious decision.

_Karlus:_

Thanks to my dashing charms and of course some hypnosis, I managed to get the right papers and documents that allowed us to adopt Chrissy into our household.

“It’s the least we can do for this little girl. And she already trusts us enough.”

Hob rolled his eyes first. But now that I’ve seen him at the school gate and during the last two days, I realise he’s opening up some more to a third house member.

To be honest, I never saw myself as a father figure or any kind of figure to look up to, but now it seems that I got very protective over this random kid I didn’t even know also lived in our apartment block.

While Chrissy is at school, Hob and I are in our bedroom. We should sleep a bit.

“Is there no night school or something?” Hob grunts.

“Only for vampire kids. And then we’d have to move out,” I say.

“Yeah, that won’t be happening. And Chrissy isn’t a vampire.”

“Should we make her one?” I joke but that earns me a punch. I hiss and levitate out of bed. Hob joins me and we fly around each other in a taunting way before settling in bed again.

“Just kidding, just kidding.”

“Okay… Now, Chrissy lived with us for two weeks. But I’m sure she’ll start to notice things are off in this apartment. We need to have a plan. An excuse for these things,” Hob stares at the ceiling. I nod in agreement.

“Well, we can’t just buy a mirror. It’d only raise questions to why we’re not visible in them,” I mutter.

“True.”

“We’ll find out along the way.”

“I guess,” Hob sighs in defeat and I chuckle. I know he always like to calculate shit and be as prepared as possible. But with kids, you just can’t predict their damn behaviour. All decades I’ve lived so far and I still cannot fathom what’s going on inside a child’s mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some troubles that come with trying to hide the fact that you're a vampire.

_Hob:_

We’re not surprised that Chrissy starts to ask us some very specific questions about our house and lifestyle. After all, now that she’s going to school she starts noticing that her parents are quite… peculiar to say the least. But Karlus and I have tried to come up with explanations for every ‘weird’ behaviour we might show.

\--

“Why are there no mirrors in the house?” Chrissy asks one morning.

Karlus who was casually eating his bread, almost chokes in it and gives me a quick look. I look back and then to our daughter.

“Well… That’s because… we don’t need them. If you look too much in a mirror, you’ll become vain. And we don’t want that to happen. Also, we don’t want you to get insecure about your looks. You look good as is. Mirrors would only… they would not help improve your self-image.”

“But now I never know if my hair looks good!”

“Your hair is good. Karlus does your hair very well. Don’t worry so much about it,” I sigh. 

\--

“Daddy, can I open the curtains?”

I nod. “Hm, hm, sure and- wait! NO! CHRISSY NO!” Alerted I jump out of my chair and run toward the window where the girl is already taking one curtain in her hand. She panics because of my reaction. I sigh and kneel down. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t react like that. It’s just, Karlus and I are-, we don’t really like the sun that much.”

“Why not? Isn’t it healthy?”

“Yes, yes! The sun is very healthy for everyone! Except for us. We-, we kind of have this skin disease that doesn’t allow us to stay in the sun that much.”

Chrissy’s eyes get bigger and she gawks at me. I wonder if she thinks I’m telling her the biggest bullshit ever. But then her face turns concerned. She pats my cheeks and stammers: “Can doctors not help?”

“They’ve tried everything but alas. Don’t worry about us. As long as the curtains stay close and we don’t go outside when the sun’s out, everything will be fine.”

“Y-, maybe you can get an umbrella?” Chrissy then suggests and I smile. Clever girl.

“I could. Now that I think of it, the old one is broken beyond repair. Shall we buy a new one this afternoon?”

“Will Karlus come along?”

“He’ll be away. He has a… job to do. But we can go together. You and I. You’ll get to the pick the prettiest umbrella there is!”

That gets the girl excited. I sigh in relief. She’s already forgotten about the actual issue.

_Karlus:_

One time, one of Chrissy’s friends comes over. For the sake of looking a bit more human, we’ve decided to put on some basic makeup to cover up for our pale skin and Hob’s face scars. When there’s a knock on the door, Chrissy jumps up excitedly. I throw Hob a look and go to the door to welcome the other kid. She’s with her mother. The mother looks kind of paranoia.

“She will be safe here, right?” is the first thing the parent asks me. I smile and nod in a reassuring way. To be honest, she has all reason to be paranoia. This isn’t the safest neighbourhood. Though, relative safe compared to _other_ streets. But after the tragic death of Chrissy’s actually parents, Hob and I have made it our personal job to make sure this hood becomes a tad more liveable, enjoyable and mostly safe for the kids. Before parenting hit us in the face, we weren’t too concerned about the safety of this place. We’re vampires after all, we won’t die by the hands of some generic thugs.

“She will be safe. Did you not know that the crime rate here has decreased?” I chuckle but the mother still frowns. She stares behind me.

“May I come in?”

“Sure, eh, sure.”

“Moom, you’d only drop me off here!” her daughter complains but her mom is stubborn and already sets foot into the apartment.

Damn it, this is annoying. However, we’ve locked the weapons and any trace that would reveal we’re assassins for hire. Hob is sitting in the living room watching some cooking show. He immediately stands up when the mother of the other girl enters the room. He smiles and shakes her hand. I see the discomfort on his face immediately. It’s subtle, but over the few decades you’ll pick up on your partner’s subtle behaviour and body language.

The kids luckily go to Chrissy’s bedroom to play with some dolls or whatever. Meanwhile the mother of the other girl goes to our kitchen and Hob walks after her. I see his skin is irritated. When I observe the mother more closely, I realise what the whole thing is about: she’s wearing a necklace of prayer beads. Shit.

But Hob is already trying to convince her to leave.

After the woman has almost nosed about in every room except our bedroom, she leaves, giving her kid one goodbye kiss.

“I’ll pick you up in time, honey. Don’t worry. Have fun!”

“Alright, mom. Byee!”

Once the door is closed, Hob sighs in relief before scratching his neck. “Damn, woman. Almost made my skin melt.” I laugh and my friend gives me the finger.

“Look, back in _my_ century, everybody was religious. Even though I didn’t want to!”

\--

Chrissy holds up a flyer. It’s an invitation of the other neighbours. That’s new. A spaghetti night. And actually in honour of _us_. When Chrissy’s asleep, I talk about it to Hob.

He’s drinking some coke while being on the web. He stares at the paper I give to him.

“Should we go?”

“Well… It’s in honour of us. Probably because we dealt with those thugs that killed Chrissy’s parents and stuff. And cleaned up more garbage.”

I laugh. Becoming a local hero was the last thing I thought I’d ever be or wanted to be. But I guess it could help with our reputation and having humans on _our_ side.

“Then we’ll go. I’ll tell Chrissy tomorrow.”

The evening has come and we all sit in an apartment on the first floor. It belongs to a friendly, old lady. A week ago, she had some trouble with a young thug and after my partner had ‘dealt’ with the situation, the thug no longer posed a thread to the nice old lady.

“Today, we’d like to thank you two officially,” the granny raises a glass and the other neighbours do the same.

“We may not live here in palaces, but I hope this humble dinner is also fine with you,” one of the male neighbours on our floor says.

“It’s lovely,” Hob smiles.

I nod. “You all shouldn’t have. I mean, what have we done? Nothing special.”

“Scaring off some thugs and even driving them out of these places isn’t what I’d call ‘nothing special’,” a mother of two declares and the rest agrees. I glance over at Chrissy who is already eating the spaghetti by large amounts. It’s a funny sight. She seems to be proud of us too.

“Anf you savd meh,” she says.

“Young lady, don’t eat with your mouth full,” Hob points out with a frown.

“She’s right, though. You two are literal heroes.”

Then everybody else begins to eat. I hesitate. There’s a certain smell to the sauce I don’t like. Looking at my partner, he thinks the same. Still, I try to have at least bite. It’s the least I can do for these nice people. I never talked to these lads for more than an hour. And that was the real maximum.

As soon as I have the spaghetti with sauce in my mouth, I realise what’s in it: garlic.

I clench my fists. I don’t want to disappoint everyone. Not now. And how much damage can a little bit of garlic do, huh?

Hob has the same thoughts or something similar because he continues eating as well.

After we’ve finished our plates, we have to excuse ourselves real quick and make a run to our own apartment. When we’re sure nobody else is in the staircase, we simply levitate and fly the last few stairs. My throat is on fire. I feel like my eyes might as well pop out of their sockets. Inside our kitchen, we drink gallons of special, neutering liquid.

“Oh fuck, Karlus!” Hob curses.

“I know, I know. Damn.”

We’re still coughing an hour later when Chrissy comes knocking on the door.

“Hey there,” Hob tries to smile but his mouth is clearly swollen and red.

“What happened?” our kid exclaims, clearly concerned with our wellbeing.

“I-it looks like we’re allergic to garlic,” I mutter defeated. I want to tell my daughter she doesn’t have to tell anybody else but she insists. Before we can really do something about it, she’s running down the stairs again. In the meantime Hob and I lay on the couch together.

A few minutes later, Chrissy is back. She tells us the other neighbours are sorry and that they won’t make that mistake again. The old lady has even offered a compensation with a meal of our own choice.

Aw, these people are too nice.

“A-and they didn’t say anything else?” Hob wants to know.

Chrissy shakes her head. “Nope. Only that next time, they’ll ask if you’re allergic to anything else. You should’ve told me too, papa. What if I’d ever surprise you with something your tummy can’t handle?!”

Hob puts on a more genuine smile now and runs his fingers through his daughter’s hair.

“I’ll let you know. It’s alright. Mistakes can happen.”


End file.
